(via youreeverysongieversing)

famousmensfeet:

Christian Bale (Terminator Salvation, Dark Knight)

psychomom:

Christian Bale is an insanely talented actor. His sharp features and sculpted physique stop the hearts of his foes and drive women wild with sexual desire. If you were to remake any film with Christian Bale in it, its quality would improve infinitely. Here are some facts about the guy:

1) Christian Bale is a direct result of spontaneous generation, yet is the father to every person on earth, no matter their age.
2) Christian Bale’s cheek bones are so clean and sharp, he uses them to slice apples, which he later serves to his guests for dessert at his wonderful dinner parties.
3) Christian Bale is sooo beast! As a child his orthodontist attempted to install braces in his gums. Young Christian Bale told the Dr. to FUCK OFF! He then molded his own teeth into perfect alignment with his bare hands and crucified the orthodontist on the spot.
4) When Heidi Klum tried to seduce Christian Bale, he responded in disgust, “I don’t fornicate with sea creatures……your blood is no good to me”. He then spread his golden wings and flew into the black abyss we humans refer to as the night sky.
5) Christian Bale sheds his skin like a snake, only it’s a beautiful and sensual silk like fabric, which is later woven into fine tapestries sold at $50,000,000 a piece.
6) Christian Bale and Chuck Norris met one night at the river’s edge, where they planned to fight. They spent 10 minutes staring lustfully into eachother’s eyes and a mountain exploded. They both withdrew for the good of mankind.
7) Christian Bale has mastered the art of gun-kata and has over 150,960,082 confirmed kills on enemy soil. Every year he is rewarded the head of a priest as repayment for liberating the villagers of Xenua. He boils the heads in 7 Up and feeds them to his many Bale cubs, which are the most attractive creatures on the planet.
8) Christian Bale had no idea he was being filmed during the shooting of American Psycho.
9) Unfortunately, being fuckin sweet all the time has its downside. Christian Bale has to constantly force a smile, because he knows how lonely he’ll be when the apocalypse comes.
9.5) When Christian Bale screams, some small child half way around the world vaporizes.
9.785) Christian Bale’s hair is so thick and recalcitrant, he has to use an entire container of Nads to wax one single eyebrow.
9.989) The epic trilogy of Lord of the Rings is actually an adventure Christian Bale had one morning while walking to school. That same day during recess, he decided to replicate this adventure, but this time through the perspective of an amputee.
10) Christian Bale once killed a man in a phone booth for laughing. When asked why he said, “I’m Batman”, and then scaled a wall.

…stole that from inactive Facebook page

Christian Bale is Fuckin’ Sweet (Global)

 

rufustfirefly:

INTERVIEWER: What is the craziest thing you ever did to get a guy to notice you? 
AMY POEHLER: I had no idea how to get guys to notice me. I still don’t. Who cares? 

(via oncecreepybeckett)

(via rufustfirefly)

conanofallon:

HAPPY 48th BIRTHDAY, MR. CONAN O’BRIEN!